Narcissists At Work: How to Manage Narcissistic and Toxic Behaviour in the Workplace
- Sarah Davies
- 6 hours ago
- 4 min read
Dealing with narcissistic or toxic behaviour at work can leave you feeling confused, undermined, stressed, depressed and emotionally exhausted.
You might find yourself second-guessing conversations.Replaying meetings in your head. Wondering how someone can be so charming one moment and so cutting the next. Dreading going in and feeling resentful and exhausted. If this sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it.
Workplace narcissism is real — and understanding how it operates is the first step toward protecting yourself. But awareness alone isn’t enough. You also need strategy.
That’s why Dr. Sarah Davies developed the S.H.I.E.L.D. framework — a practical approach to navigating narcissistic and toxic behaviour at work without losing your professionalism, your confidence, or your sanity. Her latest book “Narcissists At Work” takes a deeper look into this as a guide to deal with workplace toxicity.
Below is an overview of the core principles.
S - Separate Emotions from Interactions
One of the most powerful shifts you can make is learning how to separate your emotional reactions from the interaction itself.
Narcissistic personalities often thrive on emotional reaction or intensity - whether that’s conflict, defensiveness, or visible upset or distress. When you understand this dynamic, everything starts to look different.
The ability to regulate your emotional responses - rather than being pulled into theirs - becomes one of your strongest protective tools.
In the book ‘Narcissists At Work’, I break down exactly how to build this skill in a way that feels natural and is effective and helpful.
H - Hold Firm Boundaries
Toxic behaviour flourishes where boundaries are unclear or inconsistent. Narcissistic bosses or colleagues will disrespect or push other peoples boundaries in whichever ways they can.
Healthy boundaries in the workplace, as in any relationship, are essential for clarity and wellbeing.
The challenge? Narcissistic individuals rarely respond well to boundaries, initially. However, when you can practise and learn how to effective set and hold firm and fair boundaries with them, this becomes a key part of your SHIELD in protecting yourself from them and their actions.
There are ways to do this that are absolutely appropriate and that only enhance your professional and personal relationships - and like any skill, it can be learned.
I - Ignore the Ego Traps
Narcissistic dynamics are full of subtle traps.
Invitations to defend yourself.
Opportunities to compete, correct, or win.
The more you understand these traps, the easier they become to recognise them for what they are and step around.
Not every comment deserves a response.Not every accusation requires a defence.Not every battle is yours to fight.
Mastering this alone can dramatically helpful change in your workplace experience.
E - Empathise Without Enabling
Many capable, high-performing professionals struggle in toxic workplaces because they are conscientious and empathetic.
They want to be fair. Reasonable. Understanding.
But empathy without boundaries can quickly become self-abandonment or even self-destructive.
It is possible to remain kind without becoming compliant.
To stay professional without becoming passive.
To care - without colluding.
The distinction is subtle, but really transformative.
L - Log Interactions
When dealing with manipulative or toxic behaviour in any workplace, clarity matters.
Patterns matter.
Facts matter.
Keeping appropriate records is a wise and strategic move. And in certain workplace dynamics, it becomes essential.
Knowing when and how to do this properly is also a part of protecting yourself long-term.
D - Delegate and Decide
At some point, you may need to ask an important question:
Is it my job to manage this - or is it time to escalate, delegate, or make a decision?
Not all workplace toxicity can be resolved through personal strategy alone. Sometimes the most powerful move is recognising your limits and acting compassionately and accordingly.
Knowing when to stay, when to escalate, and when to leave is one of the most important professional decisions you will ever make.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
Managing narcissistic behaviour at work isn’t about getting into diagnosing people or fighting battles.
It’s about understanding the psychology at play, strengthening your internal position, and making clear, empowered decisions.
The S.H.I.E.L.D. framework provides a structured way to do exactly that - step by step.
If you’re tired of feeling destabilised, undermined, or emotionally drained at work, it can really help to understand more about:
How narcissistic dynamics actually operate in professional environments
Why certain sectors attract more narcissists
The psychological mechanisms of narcissistic behaviours and dynamics; eg., shaming, blaming, manipulation, denial, gaslighting, divide and conquer tactics, control…
Practical strategies to manage this in the workplace
Emotional regulation tools to help manage your own stress and anxiety
Knowing when to escalate - and how
How to protect your long-term wellbeing and career
You deserve to feel steady, clear, and confident at work.
And that is entirely possible — with the right tools.
